Each day gets a little better, finally!

HI, hi Pam here
So Friday really started to bring some turns for the better. I woke up just feeling better than even the morning before. It was the first day when I went for hydration that all my electrolytes were in the norm; potassium, sodium, protein...Mom was here as my personal nurse from Tues. to Fri. and you know the Pennster with nutrition...give her a mission of getting certain stuff in me and she's on it. By Sat., I headed off with Troy and the boys bright and early to Burlington for the YAM scram (kids road race for the marathon). Griff ran the 1/2 mi. race, Sam the 1 mi. (8:57!), and Tuck the 2 mi. We went up the the marathon expo, emotionally harder than I thought (which brought tears in my eyes going in .... next year, I'll be back!) A crew of track kids ran for us. It felt so great to just all 5 of us be together for the day. Sunday I went for hydration at Porter in Middlebury (even got to see Clinton drive by after his commencement address at the college) and off to a bridal shower for a good friend in the afternoon. How amazing it felt to see friends, be social, and put on a skirt and make-up! (NO PJs :) ) Monday we enjoyed the sun and a neighborhood BBQ. When I went for my check-up Tues., they were shocked how great I was feeling. Blood pressure normal (no more 88/53!), electrolytes normal, and ALL counts (except red cells, they take a bit) , even platelets - normal! My body has fully grafted the transfusion! We're going to start to just check in once a week at the drs., then every other. We won't do a PET scan till the end of July or so, give the post three month radiation, chemo to settle, and inflamation to subside. But.... each day is turning the corner a little more. I'm certainly not myself yet and sitting around is my most welcomed activity, but I know I'll be able to stay up later than 8:00 before too long.
Stop by for a little visit ... email .... love to hear from you all!
Love - Pam

The Reality of Recovery

Well, we have been home since Sat. the 19th. It has been great to be home with the boys, but it is very hard work. Pam ran a fever on Monday night so we had to go to the emergency room at FAHC (I think now we have hit the entire hospital). They took some blood, did a chest x-ray, and gave her fluids. We were sent home around 12:15am and got some sleep before our morning visit to VCCC (Vermont Center for Cancer Care). We have had to go there every day to get fluids for Pam and to get blood work done. They have found no infection from the blood tests so that is good news. The fever has not returned. Pam's counts have recovered well enough that they took out the Hickman!!! Yeah!!! No more white plastic tubing protruding from her chest. She was very happy about that. It seems like it has been two steps forward, one step back all week. Pam has tremendous fatique. Pam's mom has been here with us this week, otherwise we would be sunk. She gets home from the Dr.s' visit and lies down on the side porch in the shade for a cat nap. She is physically and emotionally exhausted, it has been a rough month. I think the biggest factor is that she was so excited to be done with the treatment, and get her port out and the fact that she still feels so lousy is doing a number on her. She has lost 13 lbs in the last two weeks (not the diet program anyone wants to be on). We are feeding her Ben and Jerry's, butter, whole milk products and the like. It has been hard to get the food thing going again. We knew this was coming and we are plugging along. It is going to be like this for the next several weeks. If yo want to see her, give a call and check in. Visits are OK as long as they are BRIEF! Pam will visit with you as long as you stay, that is just the way she is, but it is not helping here. Short visits to brighten spirits are great, bring her some Ben and Jerry's and give her a hug, we need to fatten her up!!!!
I will keep you posted on any changes.
Troy.

Pam has turned the corner! Heading Home!!!!!

Sorry I have not blooged this week, not much to tell until yesterday. Pam spent the week in the hospital feeling pretty lousy. It was a lot of throat issues and fatigue. She was on pain meds. 24/7 that left her quite loopy and naseaus. Thurs/Friday was a big turning point. Her cell counts started to improve and as Dr. Nunnink said "no textbook needs to talk about that little twinkle in your eye that is back". So she is bouncing back. Actually today she is doing great! She is off all IV's, only taking pain meds orally when needed, and has a mild sore throat. It looks like she will be able to go home this afternoon!!!!!

It was a rough week and nothing you would ever want to watch someone go through. Pam however still manages to do it with her typical style. The resident this morning was commenting on how even with no white blood cell count last weekend, and feeling as low as you can get, that she still managed to function with a smile and humor. She is very strong physically and emotionally and we both know in our hearts that this treatment is going to work.

The professionals here at FAHC have been amazing! The nursing staff deserves a huge thanks and hug, they are outstanding: Denise, Lorraine, Caroline, Brenda, and of course Jo-Ann! (I am sure I am forgetting a few) These people have all been great to Pam all week during our stay at "Club FAHC "(all inclusive, not however our first choice for our next vacation).

We will go home today and continue to let Pam rest. She will get better every day as the numbers come up. Please wait a few days if you are thinking of visiting (at least Wed.). We can't thank you all enough for your support during this whole ordeal. It has changed our lives forever and taught us thinks about ourselves, our family, our friends and our communities that we treasure dearly. Thank you for that.

Plugging along

We are still plugging along here at the hospital. Pam is very fatigued and sleeps quite a bit (I have just finished another David Sedaris book). You know she is not feeling well because she can't really even talk (if you know Pam, then you know that is not normal!) The biggest hurdle is trying to find the right "cocktail" for her. Her throat is very sore so they are putting her on pain meds, which then makes her naseaus and causes vomiting, which makes the throat more irritated (see the dilemna). They are trying different combinations of pain meds (unbelievable how many there are!) and trying to get a combo that works. Other than that, Pam is sleeping, spitting up, talking strangely about eating a pomegranite (morphine!). I am basically a security blanket and silent company, I also keep the nurses on their toes. She is trying her best to smile at times but it is hard. We expect she will be in the hospital until next Monday (all based on cell counts and ability to get her off hydration). I will let you know when she might be ready for a visitor or two.
Troy

Pam is now in the hospital

This is not a bad thing, it was expected and is surprising really that she made it this long. She was fairly dehydrated this morning and her BP was low and Pulse high. They decided to admit her before she came down with a fever (easier to get in on a Friday then the weekend) We are actually a bit relieved as the professional nurses are quite a bit better trained than nurse Troy (although I feel as though I could do quite well in Med School right now). She is resting nicely on Shep 4 and is recieving fluids, anit - naseau, and pain meds. She will probably be here through the weekend at the very least. I will keep you all posted on any new events.
Troy.

Hard Days

Pam is pretty miserable right know. Fatigue is a major factor, but the worst is her throat. It is pretty sore and it's getting hard to swallow. She is often gagging and bringing things back up. This is all combining to make her feel pretty lousy. It is all normal and expected, but not very fun. The good news is still that she is not in the hospital with a fever. That is what we are trying to avoid. It will probably take another 7-9 days before she starts to climb out of this. I will keep you posted on any changes/progress. Thanks for all the support.
Troy.

The Cells have returned home...

We spent Mon. and Tues. on Shep 4 at FAHC getting Pam's stem cells reinfused. It was quite interesting and actually pretty boring. They would bring up her frozen bags of stem cells that they harvested a couple of months ago and thaw them out. They then would put them in through her port like an IV. We basically sat around and talked, it was fairly anti-climatic. Today (Wed.) Pam's white blood cell count has hit 0.5, which means she really has not immune system. The next couple of days will bring on extreme fatigue, mouth sores, etc. and potentially a fever (which would mean infection). If she runs a fever then we have to take her to the hospital right away and they will keep her there until her counts have recovered and she is free of infection. If she does not get a fever, then we just keep hanging out and resting. She will get her blood tested every day until the counts are at a level where she is safe to go home. She will then continue to get counts tested every day until they feel comfortable with the recovery. This should take around 2-3 weeks if all goes well. I will keep you posted.
Troy.

Stem cells

Tomorrow morning at 8am Pam will be getting ready to receive the first 1/2 of her stem cells. They will give her the second 1/2 on Tuesday. It is basically like getting a blood transfusion, but the chemical that the cells are stored in is toxic so that is why they have to spread it out over two days. On Wednesday Pam's white cell count should be hitting the floor so we are preparing for all the things that that brings with it. I will keep you all posted on how she is feeling in the next couple of days. This weekend has been good, Pam has started to get tired a little but considering the amount of chemicals they poured into her last week I would say she is doing absolutely amazing! Saturday we walked out of the hospital and were a bit emotional about the fact that it should be her last chemo. treatment (if this all goes according to plan). Now it is time to heal and let the drugs do their thing and wait and pray for all the cancer to be gone, forever.

Thanks for the help...

This week has gone much smoother than we ever could have hoped for and that is because of all of you out there who are and have been helping us. Thank you so much. Pam has handled the chemo very well and had no nauseau or bad side effects. This has allowed us to do the treatments all outpatient and with no strings attached (literally, they did not hook her up to a portable medicine pump as they had planned). This has allowed us to be outside every afternoon to enjoy the sun and fresh air and distract ourselves. Because we have such great help at home with Pams sister Jen and other "sister" Jen, and Wiz, and the McNees, and the Meyer family, and everyone else involved, we have not had any stress about the kids at all. They are doing great and everyone is making that happen for us, thanks.
Katherine has been great to allow us to "move in" for the next few weeks and that has been wonderful as well, to have a home away from home.

The last treatments are tonight and tomorrow, and then Pam gets to rest on Sunday. The hard part is still in front of us starting next week. Stem cells on Mon. and Tues. and the chemo should really start to hit her by Wed.. We are prepared and ready to charge in and finish this thing once and for all.

Troy.

So far, so good...

It is Tuesday night and we are at the Hope Lodge in Burlington. We just walked back from Pam's evening chemo. session. It only lasts 25 min, a nice break from the 4 hour morning session. So far it is going better than expected (what else would you expect from Pam?). Yesterdays treatment was only a one shot deal and we were able to go home after so we spent Monday night at home! Today was day one of the Two a days (no, not soccer practice). Pam has not had any naseau yet from the chemo. so we have been taking advantage of her feeling well and the nice weather and walking around town.

We are really hoping that the rest of the week continues to go this well so we can enjoy as much time outside as possible as we know that next week will be very different.

I will keep you all posted as we continue.

Troy.